Effectively communicating in a healthy way can be difficult for people with Alzheimer’s and related dementias because their brains work differently now. Having trouble talking can be difficult for those receiving memory care services and their loved ones. This frustration at both the challenges of discussing things with one another, and the change in their relationship dynamic, can lead to anxiousness, agitation, anger, and sadness. This dynamic and change is normal, and there are ways you can help make your communication with your loved one as efficient and mutually beneficial as possible:

Focus on feelings

• Validate their feelings. It is completely normal for your loved one to experience highs and lows over the course of the day, so validate what and why they’re feeling a certain way. Disagreeing or arguing with them will just lead to additional frustrations and distress.
• If your loved one is frustrated with their current circumstances, try distracting them with an activity, such as a familiar book or photo album. Dwelling on their issues will not do anyone any good.
• Focus on patience and empathy to foster connection. It is possible you will never be able to communicate 100% as you did prior to their memory care diagnosis. Instead of focusing on connecting through stimulating discussions, instead focus on connecting with your loved one emotionally and responding to their needs.

Establish visual cues

• Have photographs, treasured personal items, and other reminders of how loved and cared for they are around their room. This will help remind them they’re not alone and will provide visual cues for key memories from throughout their life.
• Leverage non-verbal cues like touch and eye contact. Body language is universal, and your loved one may be able to pick up on it and not have the need to constantly communicate verbally.

Respect their sense of self

• Enable your loved one to maintain as much control of their life as possible in a feasible and safe manner. Losing their independence may be difficult for your loved one, so allowing them to maintain their independence where they can may be important depending on the resident.
• Respect your loved one’s personal space. Just because they cannot be fully independent due to health reasons does not mean they will always want/need someone around. Communicate with them to establish their preference and adjust accordingly.
• Do your best to avoid baby talk or a condescending tone when communicating with your loved one. They have lived a long and full life, so communicating with them in this way may prove upsetting for them. Speak with them in the tone/cadence they’d prefer and always do your best to respect their autonomy and feelings.

Maintain healthy activity levels

• Build quiet times into the day, along with activities. Having a schedule where your loved one can be active, while allowing them to not become overstimulated, is key to their health and happiness.
• Encourage your loved one to engage in two-way conversation for as long as feasible. This will help stimulate their mind and provide a healthy outlet for them to work out their cognitive process.
• Value quality over quantity. Don’t worry whether an activity or visit was short. Instead, focus on the quality of experience and build off that rather than length.

Make healthy communication achievable

• Depending on the severity of their condition, gently remind your loved one who you are and why you’re there with them or why you’re calling/texting. If they have difficulties recalling who you are, do not get frustrated and say, “Don’t you remember?” This will only give them a negative impression of you and could lead to future communication issues.
• Use simple language, short sentences, and a calm tone. Lessening large words that may be confusing is important, as this language may confuse them rather than help them.
• Be willing to repeat things. Both hearing and memory loss can lead to the need to repeat yourself at times, so anticipate this and react to these situations with patience and understanding.
• Offer your loved one choices to reduce confusion. Rather than asking them open-ended questions which require more critical thinking, ask them yes or no questions or provide them with options to choose from. This will make your discussion simpler and more manageable for all parties.
• When discussing others, use specific names of people and places instead of pronouns like “he” or “they”. Using pronouns instead of unique identifiers will require your loved one to recall earlier moments of your conversation or their life, which may prove difficult depending on the severity of their condition.

The transition to memory care is difficult for both the resident and their family. It is completely normal to experience a broad range of emotions during this process, but know you are not alone. Our community is here to help you navigate the challenges of memory care 24/7. Together we can empower your loved one to confidently live their best life.

For more information visit Mira at Maumelle.

This web content is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services.